I Want Your Junk / (Can you please help?)

Later in the year, I am going to central asia for two weeks to visit the local people and some friends. I have to be deliberately vague in my description and details of this trip, because of the political situation in this country, so please forgive me. Six of us are going together for this trip and it will cost around $3600 each, for flights and accommodation, etc. This will be a huge adventure, but also very demanding.

The purpose of this blog is to ask you for help. We need to raise this money as soon as possible, so we will be doing a few different fundraising events to do this. I would love you to support our movie night and dinner. Also, I will be collecting scrap metal to help pay for this. Recently, I helped clean out a garage with some friends and got a whole trailer load of old washing machines, microwaves, lawnmowers, shelving etc, that was junk to them, but cash to me. I collect loads of this stuff, take all the metal out, get rid of the rest, and raise funds for my trip!

I want to clean out your garage!!

Go on... you know you want to...

I would love to violate your garage's personal space, but if you are not ok with that, then feel free to make a donation, of goods or money, to make this trip possible. I have a trailer, and can arrange a time to get intimate with your junk. If you know me, then facebook or text, and we'll make it happen:)

Thank you

Are You Afraid of the 'Enter' Button?

I had a very strange dream last night. It wasn't really a dream like you would normally expect. Dreams are usually like real life experiences aren't they, but in a different, sort of warped way? This was really short. About this short: "Hi, how are you?" And then it finished.

I wouldn't normally tell the world about my dreams. I mean, who really cares, right? But this one made me think about other things.

So basically, it went like this: My finger was about to hit the 'Enter' button on my computer, when it hesitated, and I heard a voice say "You're afraid of the 'Enter' button, aren't you?"

So I thought, why am I afraid?

Because I can't trust the outcome. Sometimes I hit Enter on my computer, especially using the internet, and it freezes, or takes ages to load a page. Occasionally, I pop home to check my emails, but it takes too long to load, so I have to go out again without having read the info I needed. Or I might want to do some online banking, but it doesn't work...

But of course, the practicalities of life are never my real priority. I am too busy daydreaming and thinking about things of little or no relevance. Consequently, the Enter button I am talking about is not purely the one on my laptop. I think it could represent something else. So I thought a bit deeper about this.

When I make decisions, or take action. That is like pushing Enter. It is like going onto the next thing. It is like going on to the next stage, in whatever that may be. In computer language, (which I don't speak very well) It is like you type in a web address, then push Enter and wait. In other words, you think about what page you want to view, you type the letters, and then Enter......

Hopefully it turns out how you expect. You don't want freezes, popups and crashes etc.

Same with life. You think about it, take the actions required, and then hope that the consequences of your actions, work out how you want them to. The thing with life that can make it difficult, is that we haven't been here before. So we don't always know what the consequences of our decisions will be. This is my first time trying this life thing out. There is a lot I don't know about!

So I am afraid to make decisions because I don't know, or don't trust what will happen next. It is unsafe. What if I freeze. What if I crash. What if all sorts of things pop up that I don't know how to deal with. What if I ruin my hard drive and lose years of memories and information? Sure, a Computer Technician may be able to fix the problems, but I risk losing everything in the process.

Just like a computer, life has an underlying system that keeps things running. Laws of physics, spiritual laws, etc. When I push Enter on my keyboard, I trust that I will get what I want. And this is trusting a man-made machine. So when I make a decision in life, I am stepping into the unknown. I don't always know what the results of my actions will be. I am trusting the God-who-made-man to deal with those results. We don't know what will happen, but we do know who is in control. So I probably shouldn't be afraid of the Enter button. But sometimes fear of the unknown can be a powerful force.

What will happen if I don't push enter?

Healthy Homes

It's that time of year again, when it starts to get cold, damp, and dark. Some people love winter and the cosy, fireside-under-the-blanket lifestyle it brings. Some people despise it's icy tentacles invading and enveloping your warm summery life. The heater comes out of the cupboard and proceeds to increase your power bill, with it's stony grill face smirking at your predicament.

The catch22 situation arises in Christchurch, where fresh, crisp, clear blue skies appear frequently, but we can't enjoy the view because our windows are blanketed with wet, dripping windows inside our homes. That's what got me thinking.

Is your view of life impeded by dirty, or condensation covered windows?

As we live our lives, we all create an atmosphere within our hearts and around about us. Our choices, mindsets, attitudes, thoughts etc all create and give off energy (I hate that word, it sounds like new age mumbo jumbo) but anyway, i'll use it...

Just like in our homes, we breathe, cook, sleep, etc and this creates humidity in our homes, making them damp, unhealthy, cold, mouldy, and covers the windows, stopping light from getting in, and stopping ourselves from seeing out. To fix this, we have to open our windows, wipe them down, use a dehumidifier, install healthy heating and ventilation etc. Then our homes are much better places to live in. They cost less to heat. The air is cleaner. It's all good stuff...

In our lives, we have to do similar things in order for our spirits, souls, bodies to stay healthy. We should regularly "open up our windows" and let others see in. We shouldn't close off, we should always be looking to refresh our vision, so that we have new hope each morning and let light, and beauty into our hearts. We should instill habits into our lives that "dehumidify" our hearts. Praying, talking honestly, forgiving people, apologising, being thankful etc, all create a healthy atmosphere in your inner world.

With your humidity levels down (some of us have such high levels that it feels like steam is coming out of our ears!) then it takes far less "heat" to warm your home. What I mean by this is, One word of encouragement can make your day. One of your favourite songs makes you happy all day, one walk along the beach and you feel content for the rest of the week. When your inner world is healthy, it doesn't take much for you to feel good, but when it is unhealthy, then you can crank the heater all day and still feel cold... ie, you can spend your whole life trying to get approval from others, getting drunk, sleeping around, being needy, constantly searching for the next thing to make you feel good and it will never satisfy you. You will always feel cold and angry and will probably blame others and hate God...

So, I strongly suggest that you do something to make your inner world healthier and your life will improve immeasurably. Everything starts from your heart, and the rest of your life reflects the condition that it is in. Just like living in a warm healthy home can make you feel much better than if you lived in a cold, dark, damp house, wrapped up in your sleeping bag just to fend off those unpleasant feelings...

Warm up New Zealand ;)

Lord and (then) Saviour

Last night I was saying a couple of prayers. Just the usual. Thanks for this, thanks for that. You are God, I am not. Help me with this, help me with that. During this time, I felt like God spoke to me. Not in an audible voice. That's not the common way God speaks to me. It was more of a loud, clear thought, which stands out from all the other thoughts, loitering around my headspace.

I was saying, "can you help me with something? Can you save me from this..." And I felt God say "I'm supposed to be your Lord and Saviour, I can't just be your Saviour. If you want me to be your Saviour, then you need to make me your Lord as well".

Thanks for the wake up call! Yeah, I realised that I can't just "use" God to meet my needs when I want, and then do things my way in between times.

How many times have I said that Jesus is my "personal Lord and Saviour?"

Notice, Lord comes first, and then Saviour. My Personal Lord and (then) Saviour.

If I choose to live my way, I have no right to expect God to save me when I want. Sure, He is full of grace and will often save us when we don't deserve it, but it is a dangerous place to be in, to expect God to bail us out when we continually live in rebellion to Him and His ways.

But if we make Him the Boss, and do as we are told, then he has promised to save us. That's His part. We trust him, the consequences are up to him. But if we trust ourselves, then we need to be prepared to deal with what comes.

So if you are always asking God to save you, but feel like he isn't helping, maybe you should ask yourself, "Is He really the Lord of my life?" Do you do things God's way, or your own way? Is he number one, or are you?

Sure, He doesn't answer every prayer right away... sometimes he says "wait" etc... even to those who truly love God more than anything! All I am saying is that God is God, so we should keep him in that place, not relegate him to our magic genie who is there to save us from our problems...

He's Lord AND Saviour

:D

understanding gifted

http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/papers/GiftedProblems.pdf

When I was young, I was a child. humour there. I was also identified as a "gifted child" I did some IQ tests with psychologists in my primary school years, and earlier too... I had results in the 135-145 region, which indicates a very high result. The median is 100, so that 50% of people should be below and 50% of people will be above 100, and something like 95% of people will be between 80 an 120. I was also placed in a gifted group of about four of us, where we didnt have to do normal schoolwork one day a week, instead we would go on fieldtrips!

I was going through a few things a while ago and wanted to figure out why? I talked to my parents and they reminded me of the gifted child thing. Growing up, I had tried to forget it, coz gifted kids don't fit in. I was bullied, I was bored, everything was too easy, people my own age never got my jokes and attempts at conversation. I would talk to adults coz I was more on their level intellectually. So this babble is all part of me rediscovering who I am, before I denied it as a child.

I tried playing soccer, and ended up trialling for NZ... I tried playing drums without lessons or anything, that was easy too. I never studied at school or uni but passed everything with good grades and always handed in early. The list is endless! But before you think I am going on about how great I am, I struggle with other things that most people find really easy. Most people find someone nice, and just get married... Of course they have to work at it, but generally, people just do all of these socially "normal" things with relative ease. They like something, are good at it, so they have a great career as a teacher, or nurse, or builder etc... But when you are good at almost everything, and get bored of it very quickly, you never know what you want to do. Relationships have always been really hard. I'm not married at an age where my friends are all having numerous kids... I have no idea what i'm doing with my career, at an age when people are earning huge money, running businesses, etc... But I do have an imagination as big as this universe, with more colours and smells than the Chelsea flower show. I know thousands of things that I have never learnt or read about. I always win Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?! But basic life is not my strongpoint!

The Gifted Paradox

If I could give you an insight into what life is like as a "gifted adult" it could be this paradox that I just thought of: Deep, complex, creative, difficult, intellectual things are very easy, but simple, everyday things can be incredibly difficult.

The hard thing is that it is very difficult to find other people like this, so you spend your life hiding who you are so you can fit in. This is a terrible way to live, but if I was myself, I would probably have no friends! I try to meet other people where they are, because I can't expect other people to meet me where I am. But over the last three decades, this has caused much confusion about who I am! So now as a 30yr old, I am only redisovering the self I lost when life got too painful for this sensitive child.

Another thing which may help you understand me is the typically highly charged senses. I have to wear sunnies more than often, coz the light I see is probably brighter than the light you might see. I smell things that aren't there. I still have a child's innocent sense of wonder. I can look at a tree for hours, just watching the leaves dance, like God is moving each one individually, just for me. But No one would ever do that with me, they would be bored in 2mins. So the gifted are always lonely and feel like wierdos. I can spend all afternoon watching the leaves. And I do this every second I can. The hum of a crowd is actually dozens of conversations that are all catching my attention, and drawing my imagination and energy to. If someone asks you a question, you might have an answer, I probably have dozens, and can instantly imagine the next half hour of conversation! And then i'm bored because I have to wait for us to have that conversation when I have been waiting at the finish line for a while. Because so much information and options are instantly there, I often say nothing, because there is too much to decipher. Like logs flowing down a river, I get too many at once and it blocks the river. This is why I like to write, because I am forced to slow down to the speed of my slow typing! It's not only introverts who need time to answer, gifted people often do as well. Simple conversations and socialisations and relationships are actually a lot of hard work, which is why I can appear to be a bit wierd sometimes, although i'm good at managing these situations to not appear so.

I have done lots of research in to this whole thing in the last year or so. There are a few good sources of info... if you are really interested, then google "Gifted Adults".

Gifted doesn't mean better, or smarter or anything else... they just experience life with much more depth, colour, passion, strong feelings etc, and this can be overwhelming when ordinary demands are placed on them coz so there is always so much going on inside.

I just had to get something of my chest :O)

cake or road

Yeah, so I have been thinking... I love reading books, and articles on the internet. I am almost a daily visitor to Wikipedia, and can honestly lose hours on it once I start. Yes I am a knowledge geek.

I know lots of other people who like to read as well. They read all kinds of books. Some read the bible. Some read moon-man books. Others read all kinds of books in between. Some read one book in their lives. Some read thousands. That's good. We are all different, so it makes sense that our reading habits are different, doesn't it?

I think it is very important to gain knowledge. I think it's more important to gain wisdom, but knowledge is a common precursor to wisdom, so gain as much understanding as you possibly can. Knowledge is also a great way to remove ignorance from your life. Yeah, people say , ignorance is bliss, but only only when you use that quote in context. Don't use it as an excuse to be ignorant, or stupid. I'm not talking about school education either...not all of us were fortunate enough to have had a good upbringing and schooling. Not all of our parents wanted us to be knowledgeable either. I'm talking about something different.

You may have heard the quote "when you stop learning, you start dying". Well, you've heard it now :P

I have a problem when people decide that they know it all. I am very easy-going, but when people a close-minded to new things, I get rather annoyed.

I really don't care how much someone knows, but I DO care about their attitude to learning. Someone who is open to new things has an attitude that says, "I don't know anything, I want to learn more", whereas a person who is close-minded about new things, or ideas, has an attitude that says "I know everything, and I don't need to know anything else".

Now I would like to put all of this into some sort of context...

Well, as someone who believes in God, and His Son Jesus, I think that we should be reading our bibles. Not as a religious duty of a Christian Legal System, but coz we want to keep learning. I also think that it is very important to read all kinds of other books and articles etc... Reading your bible is often like your bread, veges and water... All these other books are like your treats, your spices, your icecream etc... They are often very helpful at enjoying your life, and may give you a quick-fix pick me up, to add a bit of colour to your life. But your bible is the one staple diet that makes you healthy, strong, and useful to others. It may at times taste boring, but you need it. If all you did was eat treats, you would end up sick, unhealthy and no use to others. Or yourself!

I think it is wrong to read only your bible, if it makes you dogmatic, religious, closeminded, angry, defensive.

I also think it is wrong to read all kinds of books, if it makes you whacko, Dan Brown, Moon-Man loopy, anything goes.

You will need to self-medicate. If all you do is read your bible, be aware that you could be a religious freak.... GET REAL!!! isn't it ALL about loving God and others anyway? But if all you do is read "other" books, be aware that you could be a stupid hippy dropkick...GET OVER YOURSELF!!! if you are too open minded your brains will fall out. You don't decide what truth is. Truth does!

Your bible is the main road, all other books are dead end streets on the way... you might get something from visiting them, but in the end, if you really want to go somewhere, you need to head back to the main road. Only an idiot would plan a journey and then spend their time parked up on dead end streets. It makes no sense! Conversely, if all you do is drive down the main road, you may never see the real world. You will get where you are going, and if that's all you want to do, then go for it! But, some of us like to explore the details along the way to make our journey a deeper, richer experience.

Right, that's enough exploring, time to hit the road again!

Introvert Guilt

As you might know, introverts love time by themselves. Extroverts don't naturally understand this and can easily get annoyed with their introvert friends because of their lack of understanding, thinking that they are wierd, rude, antisocial, selfish, and that they don't care about others. These judgements are based in ignorance of others who are different from them.It's not always their fault, it's the way our society seems to work, and is a natural mindset in this time where people are too busy to really put any effort in to thinking about meaningful things.

This underlying pressure to not be introverted, tells the introvert that who they are is not ok, and that they must socialise and be extroverted to be normal. This pressure makes the introvert feel like they must always say "yes" to every social event, so that their extroverted friends won't attack them with disapproval and hurtful assumptions.

Out of this pressure to be extroverted, spawns an incidious phenomena, commonly referred to as "Introvert guilt". This happens when you crave time alone, but feel guilty for neglecting your family and friends.

Overcoming introvert guilt - which many people with introverted personality traits feel when they take time for themselves - can be as simple as making a schedule and sticking to it!

“Our modern society puts more emphasis on getting along in parties and groups, assertiveness and classic extroverted personality traits,” says Suite101 writer Alicia King. “Society's lessons can make us feel wrong about wanting solitude.”

Introverted personality traits go against the norm in many communities, companies, and groups. Introverts prefer to spend time alone or with one or two others. Many introverts accept invitations to events and activities because of introvert guilt (actually, whether we’re introverts or extroverts, many of us are people pleasers who have a hard time saying no).

Introverts are relatively easily overstimulated at work or in groups of people. A tell-tale introverted personality characteristic is how they get their energy. Introverts need to be alone to feel refreshed and back in touch with themselves. In contrast, extroverts get their energy from groups of people.

So here's some tips for introverts to deal with this, from some websites I have been reading:

Overcoming Introvert Guilt

1.Know your personality. The more you learn about your introverted personality characteristics, the more familiar and normal they become. When you know yourself, you can accept yourself.

2.Schedule downtime. Write it on your calendar or in your daytimer: Mon, Weds and Fri from 4 to 5:30 pm is your time. Do whatever it is that fills you up again with positive energy.

3.Practice saying no. The more you say no even if you feel guilty, the easier it’ll get. You don’t have to have a reason to say no (though needing time alone is one of the best reasons there is).

4.Unite with fellow introverted personality types. Learn to identify people with introverted personality characteristics. Maybe you have a close friend to visit with, but you don’t necessarily want to talk the whole time. If she’s an introvert, discuss ways to be together without constant conversation. Carpooling to the gym works because you can chat to and from the fitness centre, and still have some quiet time on the machines.

5.Don't take other's disapproval personally. Just because you do things differently from them and they don't always get it, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you! We all like other people to like us, but that should just be the icing on the cake to our self-esteem. You are made in a certain, unique way, so just accept yourself and hang out with people who understand and appreciate you for who you are. Don't spend too much time with people who make you feel bad about who you are, it's not healthy.

It is OK to spend time by yourself, don't feel bad :D