My Dad

My Dad, Leslie James Eggers

There's not enough space here, to list what a great man my dad was. I'll put a few things down just to start. He would hate that I'm telling you about him, he was far too modest and never wanted any recognition. Well, I'll give him just a bit now. I think he deserves it, and I'll deal with him when I see him next.

A couple of days before Christmas, they discovered cancer in dad's lungs. This week he passed away, with cancer in his lungs, lymph nodes, adrenal glands, liver, bones... It was so fast. It really hurts. We are very upset. This is very difficult. I miss him. But I will see him again one day. That will be a good day.

I couldn't have asked for a better dad. He was married to mum for 42 years and I never heard him complain once. What an amazing husband. What an amazing role model. Every single time I saw him, he was smiling and his famous humour was only a breath away. I never saw him get angry. Not once. Never.

I would only have to hint at needing something and he was there. Any time. Middle of the night. Even leaving his coffee half drunk. He literally dropped anything for us kids. No question, not even a change in facial expression, or even a single tone change of voice. I can remember nothing he ever did to disappoint me.

Until his last few days he was a smoker, and went on about his passion, horse racing sulkies, his job for the last four decades. Those were two things I didn't enjoy as much as he did! But the fact that he worked at home every single day of my life, meant I spent time with him, and he never worked late. We were always welcome in his workshop and greeted with enthusiasm. he was never too busy. Not once. Amazing.

He bought us up to be good, moral, hardworking, honest people, who should help others and stay away from people who were full of it and told us to do what we enjoy, even if you earn nothing from it! He did jobs for his clients and often did more than expected without telling anyone. If people couldn't afford the products, he just gave them a credit. Most of which, never got repaid. But he wasn't bothered. As long as people were being helped, he was happy.

In approximately 400 games of football that I played around the country over several years, he missed about two, due to family emergencies. For a family who went to Nelson once, and the West Coast a few times for our family holidays, with no money for hotels, or even ice-creams, I think that's amazing. Such was his absolute passion to spend as much time as possible with his boys.

He was the best example of a Christian man, while being absolutely irreligious and unreligious at the same time. He loved others unceasingly through his life, and was utterly unselfish, unmaterialistic, generous, consistent, and would give things to others without wanting anything in return. We grew up poor, with no luxuries like icecream and such, but we got the best example of what a Good Samaritan was. He was a second dad to many. He received an award for long service to Scouting NZ. That's nights and weekends away, volunteering. Coz he wanted to spend time with us boys. Then he stayed on and became the Patron, many years after Will and I had moved on. Always helping.

Sitting beside his hospital bed in his last days, every day I would go in, and he would bring up God and heaven and all that meaning of life stuff. I remember a doctor said something like this, "I hope you are prepared for the worst", to which dad replied, "the worst? I've only got good things to look forward to! Don't worry about me, I'm actually looking forward to seeing all my family and friends who are having fun up there without me!"

*Thanks dad. I've got that same simple faith as you. Loving others in such a simple and effective way and never telling anyone about it. You were the complete opposite to a religious stiff hypocrite, who is all talk and all selfish. Thanks for that example of how to live. I am trying my best*

He wasn't just a generous, giving man. When he was younger, he won top apprentice of the year for all of New Zealand. He was very, very intelligent, and never mentioned it once. He could invent and build anything with his hands. He was exceptionally creative.

He was mildly cynical. In other words, he was a good kiwi bloke! Sorry, I can't help the joking. It's dad's fault...;)

He was a great singer, actor and clown. I enjoyed him being around every single day. So did a lot of people.

If I am even half the man my dad was, I will be happy. He set the bar pretty darn high.

I'd better stop there or he will get the wooden spoon out, just like the good old days...

Kids of any age, your dad won't be around forever. Make sure you let him know how important he is, and tell him you love him. Maybe you could even thank him. You don't have to wait til Fathers Day...I'm so glad I got those last few days with him... Priceless...




NB: his funeral will be held on Monday 30th of January, 1pm, at Academy Funerals, 65 main south road, upper Riccarton, Christchurch. You are most welcome to come and celebrate my Dads life and support us. Thanks for your support so far.

Beautiful People

Hi guys!

Sorry it's been a bit of a hiatus between blogs, I've just not felt up to it. Imagine being tired, then even more tired, then having hair fall out, then even more tired, then earthquakes not letting you sleep, then recovering from a major craniotomy, being on chemo and RT, finding out dad as lung cancer and can't drive either, taking 17-18 pills per day in the right order at about the same times each day, going to hospital five days a week, having blood tests all the time, can't work, drive, or you've heard it all before. Now I have so much respect for others who have gone through the same in their lives. Especially those who have stayed positive!

Another huge thanks to all the people taking me to hospital and supporting me! We'll get there! In fact, I haven't had a day since October 30th, when this all started, where I haven't had a visitor! That's tough for a raging introvert like me ;) Good job!

I think I have far too many friends;)

Some are incredible cooks, some extremely funny, some incredibly caring, some powerful and effective prayers, some good listeners, some inspiring, some great parental, sisterly and brotherly figures, some encouraging... No one's perfect, but some of you are pretty close to it in certain areas of your life. I guess when we have such a wide circle of friends then we get all we need to live a good life! Now, with what's happening, I understand that even more!

I have long heard that beauty is on the inside. That has taken on a whole new meaning lately.

Don't isolate yourself, invest in relationships, coz when the time comes for that term deposit to mature, you will be richly rewarded. Conversely, if you keep you to yourself and don't make any investments in others (also known as selfish/ self-centered etc) then you will probably find life much harder and less enjoyable than it could have been? What do you reckon?

Anyway, I got sidetracked...

So, just to update you all... I am balding in the front left of my head, as a result of the radiation treatment, which also makes me very thirsty and tired. It's a bit like sunbathing all day and drinking no water. You feel wasted most of the time. The treatment only takes a couple of minutes, but has long term effects.

The chemo usually makes people nauseous, tired etc, but so far I am handling that pretty well. Obviously, with both treatments running concurrently, it's difficult to attribute the effects to one or the other, but in general, they are similar to each other. I shouldn't go completely bald like billiard ball, which is cool I guess, but hair is overrated and our attachment to it can highlight possible vanity in our lives. For guys anyway!

I am still the same person, but I now have a different haircut, have worse short term memory, am "fatigued" (that's the medical term) and have less of a "filter" of what is socially acceptable to say. So I'm more blunt! So now I will occasionally tell you what I think, instead of what I'm supposed to say to be socially normal. Sorry about that. Get over it haha!

You still love me, right? :)

I hope so ;)

And if you don't, well I actually don't care!

Oh yeah, and I get sidetracked easily too. What was I talking about?

Good joke...

But it's true.

Oh yeah, I had a great time at Amelia and Jay's wedding last night. So did everyone else by the looks of it. Well done, all the best for your future together!

Back to me, coz it's MY blog! Get out of it!

So I've done four weeks out of six in my first stage of chemo and RT. Not feeling sick. Praise the Lord! Looking forward to a nice quiet day at home, partially in bed! Yippee!

Plan for the rest of today: will have a PowerNap! Wake up, will heat up some lasagna, watch a DVD, take some pills, fall asleep, wake up, take some more pills, someone will surprise me by knocking on the door, I will enjoy hanging out with them, they will go home, I will take more pills, drink another litre of water, heat up some homemade pies, watch tv, all while snoozing and repeatedly throwing my kitten off my face. Tomorrow I will wake up and do it all again.

Have just seen that there was a hot air balloon crash near Wellington. Puts things in perspective doesn't it?

Talk soon:)