Saturday, January 23, 2010

Laid-back is not Lazy!

Here's some tips on how to be a bit more laid back. I was thinking about this because a lot of people seem to rush around everywhere like headless chickens, with little, or no time for those close to them. Some people always seem to be busy, but never actually DO anything! I was also wanting people to understand that "laid-back" is NOT "lazy"! Laid-back people still do as much as many "busy" people but they give the appearance of being so relaxed that people see them as lazy. I find it a bit frustrating because I really dislike being misunderstood.

1. Do one thing at a time. The world's greatest achievements were made by people who gave the task in front of them their undivided attention. Tackling multiple activities at once might feel efficient, but is it really productive? Is giving each task 30% of your attention for three hours as effective as giving each task 100% of your attention for one hour each? If something doesn't deserve your undivided attention, maybe it's not worth doing at all. Don't just do stuff to be busy!

2. Slow down. What's the rush? If what you're doing is important enough to take up your time,then you might as well enjoy it. Cleaning the house for an hour with your favourite music playing and your bottom shaking is better than cleaning the house in half that time but in a frantic state of mind. Plus, if you're having fun with your chores, maybe other people will be tempted to join. Don't just "get it over with", find a way to make every activity something that you look forward to doing.

3. Stop being a perfectionist. High standards have their place. When performing surgery, for example, or designing a building. But when applied to other areas of your life (your appearance, your home's appearance, your hobbies, your handwriting, whatever) you're practically inviting anxiety into your life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have any standards at all; it's when you start stressing out about the details that you need to ask yourself: "Will doing this right now make me truly happy? Will it make me a better person? Will it make the world a better place?" Usually, the answer is no. Don't allow perfectionism to become the enemy of your potential.

4.Step aside. When you close your eyes and imagine your role in the world, do you see yourself as Atlas, the mythological Titan, holding the weight of the world on your shoulders? Do you feel like you want to relax, but worry that if you do, everything will fall apart? If so, you need to delegate some responsibility. You might think other people won't do as good a job, but that's the thing: they'll never do it just like you do. So give them responsibility, give them advice, and pass the reins. Don't be surprised if they make mistakes; just be there to support them, and let them fix (and learn from) their mistakes. Not only will this take some weight off of your shoulders, but it can be very fulfilling to watch someone grow and mature as a result of your guidance.

5.Remember that it's not the end of the world. Many people spend their entire lives trying to prevent bad things from happening. But guess what? They happen anyway. And life goes on. That's not to say you shouldn't take any kinds of precautions in life, but if the majority of your thoughts are consumed in contingency planning, you're not enjoying life. You're preventing it. Hmmm

6.Focus on what you have, not what you have to do. Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking "I have to straighten this up...I have to correct him...I have to stop her..." but truthfully, we don't have to do anything. You can walk away from any task, at any time. Try replacing every "have to" with a "want to" and see if the statement still means the same. In other words, is it something that you'll look back on when you're in your deathbed and be happy you did? Most likely not. So appreciate what you have, while you have it.

Tips: When bad things happen (and they will, no matter what) just smile. Remind yourself that:

Life goes on.
You win some, you lose some.
This too will pass.
You can't please everybody.
We live and learn.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Remember that sometimes bad things lead to the best things.
Before you say no, think "why not?"
Shift your mindset so that you concentrate on what makes you feel happy, not on what makes you feel safe.
Pray about it.

Warnings:

Don't confuse being laid-back with being lazy. People who are laid back get things done, but they do so with a relaxed attitude rather than a frantic attitude. Lazy people just don't get things done.

Personality tests such as Myers-Briggs can help you determine your particular personality. Understanding people will stop you judging them and let you cut them some slack. This goes for yourself too!

1 comment:

  1. Once again, another great blog. did I say I love you, I lust you, I mean... I love it, the blog.

    I'm one of those "lazy" people. But somehow, everything needed to be done gets done and everything I say I am going to do, I do it.
    Hmmmmm, that is lazy. I think I will keep being "lazy." Thanks for understanding James, your the best. L.

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