Getting offended

I get quite frustated when people get offended at things. The latest public uproar stems from Paul Henry's comments about Susan Boyle being a retard. Offences come at us all of the time, and it's our choice whether we take the offence and get angry, self-righteous and defensive about it. When people don't like something and they publically cry about it, I wonder if they actually realise how childish they look! I work in the trades so the predominant culture there is for people to hassle eachothers workmanship, or fat belly, or working slack 9-5 office hours etc... So if there was ever a place to take offence, my working environment would be up there. You can work really hard for days and then have people turn up and not like what you have done. And they tell you.

So it would be quite easy for me to get offended at work, and I have a few times, especially when I don't get enough sleep the night before. The school of hard knocks is good if you can graduate from it!

I used to get offended quite easily, and it made life very hard. But when I learned that being offended was entirely my own decision, and that I didnt have to get offended if I didnt want to, things took an upward turn. And life is so much easier now, especially my relationships. I have found that forgiving people can be quite hard work sometimes, and that it is actually much easier to just not even get offended in the first place. Cut it off before it grows and then you don't have to worry about forgiving people all the time.

I also learnt that taking offence is a sign of immaturity. (prov 19:11) I read my bible sometimes and it tells me good things like that! You should read one too. Better than any self help book out there. I don't want to be immature so I decided that, right or wrong, another person can say what ever they like about me or to me etc and I will not even worry about it. Sure, easier said than done, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

If someone calls me fatty or says I have doane a bad job or something, I simply do a quick check in my head. Is anything they are saying true? Maybe it is. Ok, i'll do something about it... Or maybe there's nothing really true in what they are saying, in which case, I will just say to myself... Yeah, another comment from someone who didn't give much thought to what they said, or maybe they've had a bad day, or maybe they just want some attention, I wonder if I can help them out etc... No big deal...

Then I pretty much forget what they even said. Unimportant...

Much easier than saying... How dare they! Thats not fair, I try really hard and then they hassle me, who do they think they are... look at them... pot calling the kettle black there! Hypocrite, last time I talk to you and do something to help you out. Loser, cant wait to tell everyone what a loser you are... angry downward spiral of thinking... which my moods, emotions and feelings quickly follow downwards as well.

One reason that being a Christian is good is because you can trust God to stick up for you! You don't have to fight to prove you are right. What other people think about is not really important because you know that the unseen character is what will shine through in the end. You dont like me? Who cares! You gossip and judge me? I dont like that, but really, who cares! The truth comes out in the end, and I don't have to fight and strive to prove anything to anyone! God does that for me, ahhh, peace... No one's perfect, get over it and move on!

The real problem is that people don't know who they are. If you have healthy self-esteem and an accurate view of yourself, people can say whatever they like about you and you won't be bothered. But if you are unsure of yourself then people's comments can offend you because you are still trying to prove to the world who you are, and when other people suggest something different, your fighting reflex wants to stick up for you, take offence, and prove them wrong.

"Like a sheep before his shearers, He was silent".

Don't get offended! Grow up!